GHOSTS HAUNT THE LIVING IN
BURNING OF THE MARRIAGE HAT!

In 1915, Naomi Geislingen is forced to burn the hat she bought for her wedding as part of her husband Sam's ongoing campaign of physical and emotional abuse.

In 1966, her granddaughter Katherine burns her wedding veil after her fiance Joe refuses to marry her. Confronted with the stigma of being unwed and pregnant, Katherine gives her daughter up for adoption.

The ghosts of past generations haunt the living in Margaret Benshoof-Holler's Burning of the Marriage Hat (Wind Women Press, 2002).

The sins of previous generations have bequeathed Katherine with an indelible legacy."

Her father, Leonard Geislingen, repeats the abusive behavior he learned from his father Sam -- eventually prompting Katherine's mother Evelyn to divorce him. Katherine, in turn, takes up with men who treat her badly.

Katherine is haunted by the specter of Naomi and the conflicting stories that shroud her death. "Your father killed your mother," Katherine's mother accuses her husband during a shouting match, but when questioned about the incident, Katherine's father insists Naomi's death was an accident. Katherine's attempts to uncover the truth culminate in her cross-country road trip.

Looming omnipresently over the book's human drama is the state of Wyoming with its desolate miles of high plains. Its motto is "The Equality State," because it was the first state in the nation to grant women the right to vote and sit on juries. But frontier life is brutal, especially for a young woman whose dreams for a better life have been reduced to ash. Her granddaughter fares little better, growing up among provincial attitudes that excuse in men what is judged a moral transgression in a woman.

Based in many ways upon the author's own life experiences, Burning of the Marriage Hat is a powerful book that uses the medium of fiction to explore serious social issues. According to Benshoof-Holler, Katherine's story could belong to any one of the approximately 250,000 women a year in the 1960s who gave their children up for adoption.

"Before the late 70s, unwed mothers were forced into hiding not only their pregnancies, but also their feelings of grief after they relinquished their children to adoption," Benshoof-Holler writes. "An unwed mother went away to a maternity home, had the child one day, gave it up the next, then went back home where the subject was never brought up again in most families. The grieving process was not completed."

Benshoof-Holler states that, historically, the United States' adoption system functioned to keep these out-of-wedlock births permanently hidden. She adds, even though the process is more open today, birth records remain closed in many U.S. states -- preventing adoptees from knowing their family histories or learning the identities of their mothers and fathers.

Like the conspiracy of silence that shrouded Katherine's pregnancy, another conspiracy of silence veils the circumstances of Naomi's death. Burning of the Marriage Hat is a vivid portrayal of how domestic violence can have far-reaching effects that transcend initial victims to encompass successive generations.

The perpetuation of abuse is abetted by secrecy. Only by uncovering long-buried family secrets, can Katherine come to terms with her own past and future as a woman and as a mother. Burning of the Marriage Hat kept this reader turning pages as Katherine made her way.

Q: Where can I buy the book?

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