BURNING OF THE MARRIAGE HAT

As a natural mother, I look forward to reading the autobiographies of other natural mothers. These books describe my experiences. Although a fictionalized account of her relinquishment and reunion, Margaret Benshoof-Holler's does not disappoint.

The setting is rural Wyoming where macho men and victimized women are as ordinary as the prairie winds. The story is told in both the first and third person. The lead character, Katherine, becomes pregnant at seventeen, is sent to a maternity home in Denver, and gives up her daughter for adoption.

"When I got back to Wyoming after giving birth to my daughter, the subject was never brought up again. When I tried to talk about it, people acted like something was wrong with me. So I kept the secret and grief hidden away" (p 120).

Katherine and her daughter Cynthia, reunite twenty years later. After a camping trip with her daughter, she reflects: "'This is one of the best times Cynthia and I have ever had together.' She also recalled the look in Cynthia's eyes as she drove away and remembered that some things were still unresolved between her and her daughter." (p 315).

Katherine's story is abut coming to terms with a society which oppressed and dehumanized women. She becomes free by freeing the ghosts of the past. The book covers four series of events simultaneously: Katherine's growing up, relinquishment, and reunion; her paternal grandmother's life and death; her reconnection with her father and his relatives; and her search for the truth about her grandmother's death.

Benshoof-Holler is able to weave these stories together in a truly interesting book. The characters are real and the plot has a lot of "what happens next?" Even though the tales are complex, the reader is never lost. This is one more book to add to the natural mothers' "must read" list.

Q: Where can I buy the book?

A: Ask for the book at your favorite bookstore. You can also buy the book online here at this secure site or at Barnesandnoble.com or at Amazon.com or at booksense.com (the site for independent bookstores).